Romance Jr.

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Communication

Every Breath You Take, and Every Move They Make-Calls to Communicate

Many parents struggle to find a natural way to talk to their children about what is happening to them and how they are feeling. Kids respond differently to the subject of romance and sex and there isn't any one right way to react to their questions or situations. The right way will be what feels best for you and your family. Use your own teenage years and what you found helpful during that time to guide you in your discussions.

Parents might seek out benign ways to raise topics. Listen to what your children want to know. Just because your child doesn’t bring it up to you, does not mean that they are not interested in such subjects. Find a way to bring the topic up yourself-use the news, songs, television programs, etc., to start the discussion if you don’t feel comfortable being direct.

You also might want to talk to some of the parents of your children’s friends. It will give you the opportunity to share your values and obtain support from one another without breaking confidentiality with your own child.

Developing Sexuality

Jack and Diane

     Puberty is the time in your life where your body develops physically into  either young men or women. Puberty starts when the body produces extra amounts of chemicals called hormones. These hormones guide the changes that take place in your body. As well as causing physical changes these hormones also cause emotional changes to occur. Girls tend to begin puberty earlier than boys do, but there is no "right time" for puberty to start. Generally speaking, it is between 9 and 13 years old for girls and 10 and 14 years old for boys. As a result, some girls may be taller and act more mature than guys their own age. Guys and girls also experience some unique differences during puberty.

Sexuality

Turn and face the strange changes 

      When you begin to hit puberty and experience physical changes in your body, you may begin to notice that your perception about the opposite sex changes. It is about this time that you may start experiencing sexual feelings. Gradually your friendships may start to change, and you may find yourself becoming more interested in relationships of a different nature. The first ‘romantic' relationships you have will be memorable, make no mistake. The decisions you make as a teenager about your sexuality and how you express it will be memories that you will last throughout your entire life. Your first: kiss, date, make out session, party with the opposite sex, will all become memories that last a lifetime. The music you were listening to and what you were doing during those moments will also be remembered. The romantic relationships you have now, can become all absorbing, taking up many hours on the telephone.

        As you begin to experience romantic relationships, you will develop your own sexual identity. Your sexual identity begins with how you were taught to express your feelings and thought about sex. Are you open about your feelings? Do you share your thoughts with those you love easily or do you withhold your feelings because you don't want to 'rock the boat' so to speak? Awareness of how you communicate with those you love now, will provide you with information about your communication skills. Communication is very important when you start to think about expressing your sexuality with another person. Sharing what your ideas are about what you expect, and what you think the other person expects from you will only make your experience better--because both of you will know how to better please each other. And no, no one is saying go out and have sex. We are saying if you are thinking about any kind of sexuality activity talk about it FIRST! Why? Because once you start to kiss a person, you don't go back to holding hands. Once you start having sex with a person, you can't become a virgin again. The decisions you will make about your sex life and sexual activity, or lack thereof, may or may not change over time. However, your "firsts" will always be a part of your memory. To test any of what is said, ask any adult to describe their first kiss, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc....believe me, they'll remember. The articles and pages on sexuality are designed to discuss areas of your interest. So give us feedback and tell us what you want to know!

About Love

IS THIS LOVE THAT I'M FEELING?

1. Love is a feeling of caring for another person that can take many different forms (friendship, familial, romantic), but it is always caring.

2. Love does not include physical or emotional abuse.

3. Love sometimes means thinking about someone else before yourself, but it does not mean compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.

4. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want, or based on “If you loved me, you would do it.”

5. If someone asks you to do something to “prove your love” to them, they do not love you as you think they do. When you love someone, you don’t ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves to “prove” their love for you.

6. Love and lust are not the same. Measure romantic love in trust and commitment, not by physical attraction.

7. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex is a part of romantic love, which is not required, obligatory, or mandatory.

8. Feelings of love breed feelings of happiness, comfortability, and appreciation for another.

9. Romantic love can and typically does fade when you are in a long term relationship;  as people change, so do feelings of love. The changes in feelings are not better or worse, they are just different over time.

10. Love is a verb. It is active, not passive.

 

Teens and Puberty

       

Love Walks In...Ready or Not

    Most adults associate romance and sex, so if the first thing you think about when you hear the word ‘romance’, is sex, no worries, you are not alone. Welcome to some of the few pages on this site that is going to talk about sex, puberty, and development as openly as possible. If you have already a conversation about these topics with your parents, great-the information provided will only reinforce what you already know. Tell them about this website as well. If for some reason, you do not talk about sex, growth, and development with your parents, we hope you find these pages informative, but still tell your parents about this website.

Developing physically and emotionally from childhood to adulthood isn’t easy. You go through so many different changes, from school and friends, to the ways in which you socialize. For example, your birthday celebration at 10 is different from your celebration at 15 or 20 years old. Discovering about sexuality, your own and other people's, and discovering what it means to you is a key part of becoming an adult.

Although everyone is different, we all go through puberty and adolescence. Some reach puberty at 10 or 11 years while others do not experience it until they are 15 or 16, or maybe even later. Because men and women’s physical bodies differ, there are gender differences too. Puberty may be both confusing and frustrating. Anyone who has risen to a pimple on their face, or been confused by the opposite sex knows that. Coping with the physical changes may be both exciting and embarrassing, for both boys and girls, while the emotional changes can seem a bit perplexing. Teenagers may also feel self conscious and worried about what others will think of them, at times.

     The changes occurr in everyone,  but they begin at different times. Generally the changes start later for boys than girls. In some people they start before the age of 10. Other people will only start to change after the age of 14. The changes also take place at a different rate in different people. In some people all the changes take place in a 2 year period of time. In other people they can take as long as 4 -5 years. Puberty begins when extra amounts of chemicals called hormones start to be produced in the body. These hormones guide the changes that take place in the body. Men and women have hormones that are the same, but men produce more testosterone and women produce more estrogen.  As well as causing physical changes, these hormones  also cause emotional changes to occur.

 

Welcome to Romance Jr.

     Romance Jr. is designed specifically for those between the ages of 10 and 20 (give or take a few years). The Romance Junior mission is to provide informative information to teens and tweens regarding their romantic life, and all that implies for teenagers. RC believes in romance in its purest form, which is to say that romance is much more than sex and hormones, but an all encompassing experience between two people that involves both your heart (feelings) and your head( thoughts), wherein the body may be only one of many tools to express those feelings and thoughts. Sexuality is not the focus of these pages, but as with our pages for adults, only one of several components that comprise ‘romance’ in true form.
             The romance you experience in your teenage years are memories that you will hold your entire life (just ask any adult when their first kiss was or who their first relationship was with-trust us). As you read through these pages, define romance for yourself; read our definitions of romance, exploring through your own thought processes and feelings what romance truly means to you. Try to live by what you’ve decided. You have an opportunity because of your youth to shape and mold your experiences to be exactly as you wish them to be. Our goal is to provide you with informative resources and information so that you can do just that-make your loving relationships truly loving. There are links that are aimed at providing you with the information you need to make informed decisions. What you don’t know or understand, ask your parents or an adult with whom you are close. There are facts about growth and development, puberty and sexuality, as well as topics geared for younger romances (e.g. in the classroom, effects of substances on relationships, etc.).
            We hope that you will consider all the possibilities romance can bring to a loving relationship, and all that is involved in doing so. All relationships, regardless of their context, require time, effort and dedication. We, at Romance Channel, encourage you to read through these pages, maximize their use for your own benefit, and provide us with feedback so that as we strive to meet your needs, we do so with you. Tell us what you want to hear about, and ask us questions, we're here for you and we're listening.

  Our heartfelt wishes for your success in life and love,

                   The Romance Channel Staff

                                                                                                                                                        Romantic Resources

 

Teen and Tween Romance in the News

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13689291/from/ET/

Dr. Ruth Peters' July 2006 Article on "Young love: Parents dealing with teen romance" is just the tip of the iceberg on the issues that parents and teens face as young people experience romance for the first time.

Romance Channel's Romance Jr. section will be your personal guide to this sensitive area of the romance world.